Monday, October 27, 2008

Am I Expecting To Much??

I'm going to gripe for a minute. I have mentioned before how many of the people in the town I live in act and talk. It is very offensive to me. I'm not prude, perfect or a goodie two-shoes, but I do find certain behaviors in adults to be quite offensive.

The kids have to catch a ride to and from practice because Earl is working and I don't have a car. Yesterday the kids had a football game and we were in the same situation. I really do appreciate that this one family and the coach take the kids to and from practice and then to the game yesterday. I really do appreciate it, BUT, I am really irritated with these people. Here's why, and tell me if I'm wrong.

Mallory came home one night and says that she smokes. Of course, she got my immediate attention with that one. She said that on the way to practice the dad, who is in his 40's, smokes in the van and there fore she smokes too. Whew, what a relief, but at the same time I am really irritated that this man is smoking in a car with my kids in it. Isn't it common knowledge that second hand smoke is bad for you??? I do realize that this family is doing me a favor but at the same time he has someone else's kids in the car and he should refrain from smoking. I mean it's only a 5-7 minute drive to the High School. He can't have a cigerette before they leave??? I haven't said anything because I guess the dad doesn't usually go with them.

Then yesterday the coach took the kids to the game for me. He's a nice guy and has a couple of kids. He's probably in his late 20's. Well, Mallory came home and was telling me about this song they were listening to on the ride home from the game. She said her and the other kids don't say the word Mother F!@#@r and the other bad words that are in the song just the good words. I said, "Your Coach was playing that music in the car with all you kids in there?" Mallory says, "Yeah, he always does." Well, the kids won't be catching any more rides from the coach.

We try really hard to teach our kids good values and cussing is not one of the things I want my kids to learn. I admit that I occasionally will say something that I shouldn't and Earl definitely has a potty mouth. I am always on him about talking in front of the kids like that and he does try not to or apologizes if them does (not that it makes it right). Earl's was brought up with a large amount of cussing in the household. I wasn't. My parents would occasionally say something like s!#t or damn it, but that was about the extent of the cussing in our household.

My point is, I think that parents should not smoke, cuss, play music with explicit lyrics and/or disrespect people of authority in front of other people's kids.....even if they are doing you a favor by providing a ride. I also think that if a child is spending the night with another child that the parents should not allow the kids to watch R rated movies or play the M rated video games. I think the parents should refrain from looking at things like porn on the computer when their child has a friend over. I don't think they should be doing it in front of their own kids, but that's not for me to say. All of these things have happened to my kids and it really makes me mad!!!!

I am so tired of my kids coming home from school and saying that someone called them a fag or someone said "F!@k you" to them on the bus. I am tired of people calling them wiggers because they have black friends. I am by no means claiming that I or my kids are perfect, but, What are people teaching their kids???? Obviously, not the same things that I am teaching mine!

Mallory asked me if I would home school her when we move in a couple of months. I am seriously thinking about it even though the thought of it scares me to death. It really scares me though as to what my kids are learning when their at school!


Twyla and Lindsey said...

I know exactly what you mean, Sherry. It scared me what my kids were learning at school and have never regretted pulling them out. I think some people are numb to the insensitivites that we grew up aware of because it is such a normal part of the world now. It's up to us to protect our children. As far as smoke - this makes me furious, too. People only think of themselves and give others very little consideration. Good luck! Twyla

Polka Dot Moon said...

Uuugggghhh. We all seem to get exposed to these types of people one way or another. It is very frustrating! We can only continue to lead and teach by setting a good example; be a role model to them.
I recently went to a children's seminar that spoke of the younger generation and how they have no compassion, are greedy and care only about themselves. They are numb and it isn't hard to see where and why that is happening.
I could go on and on about this!
Hang in there. Maybe it will be better in their new school.

Lindsay-ann said...

Hi Sherry
What a situation to be in! How inconsiderate! I can fully appreciate why you want to move.
I am thinking of you and hoping you can leave really soon.

Anonymous said...

I agree with you! We have been VERY lucky finding such a good elementary school for our kids. I wory every day about Sarah being at Jr. High since the kids there are not exactly ideal good kids. I do realize that kids need a chance, but at what cost to my own family? I really want to homeschool Sarah but I don't have the confidence to do it and she needs lots of one-on-one help. I have NO IDEA what I'm going to do about High School!!! I think that after being at small schools her entire life, she will get lost in a regular HS. not to mention how mean other kids can be...
I wish you lots of luck and hopefully things will get better when you move!

mysteryhistorymom said...

Sherry- If you do decide to home school I would be glad to help you.:) We have home schooled for about 3 years and it really works for us. No pressure, just know that I am here if you want to "talk".:)

I am soooo sorry that I have not posted about my Wizard of Oz swap items. I took pictures but keep forgetting! I will get on it- soon!


Debbie said...


i so agree with sis and I were just talking today bout the difference in attitudes and acceptable behaviours in our childrens generation versus ours or our parents even.

Stay true to your morals and the kids will respect you for it!!!


Saucy said...

Agreed. Absolutely. No ifs, ands, or butts.

Also, if she is up for home schooling, you might want to try it. We did it for one semester and it was a very good break from some of this junk.

Angela Harris said...

It really is sad that some people were raised without this common knowledge or teaching but I was around some crazy stuff too. It's all about the relashionship you have with God and with your parents. If your kids know what acceptable and expected of them the cussing won't affect them but the Smoke is absolutely one of my HUGEST buttons to press. Anyone smoking around a child lights a fire under me. I would either speak to that man very nicely or just not have her ride with him.

Rainma said...

I am going to probably be the odd one here as I used to smoke (however, never in my vehicle or in my home). So, I asked my DH who still smokes. He says if it is only a few minutes, the person driving should have respect for his own children as well as others and not smoke! He smokes in his truck, not my van and we use the van for family outings. He pulls over when he wants to smoke!
As Hank Williams says with Kid Rock, in country music, you just can't say the 'F' Word. In all seriousness, I don't think that word and the 'B' word and others should be allowed. But with small children..what was he thinking?
Wiggers? Hmm, I haven't heard that word since I lived in Michigan over 20 years ago and then I had to ask what it was. To bad there is still that prejudice going around.
All in all, we don't allow stupid, shut-up, idiot, etc. in our home and our grandkids will tell you those are bad words.
Sherry, the older they get the harder they are to protect and even with home schooling sooner or later they are going to be exposed to the reality of others that don't have such high respect of others.
When you are at the mercy of others, beggars can't be choosers and while I would respect your wishes, I can honestly say the minute you say something either the rides will stop, or the kids will take the wrath for it. Such a shame!

KatCollects said...

Hi Sherry,
I understand your frustration. And I agree with you completly. Sending you a hug, just because...

Cathy said...

Expecting too much? Never when it comes to your own kids.

Sara said...

Hi Sherry! I am really sorry you have to put up with this! I agree so much with rainma! From my point of view, I am 26 years old. I am a smoker. I have never smoked in my home, nor do I smoke in my car, even when the girls arent with me. I know smoke lingers. Its not fair to them to be exposed to that when its my choice to do that to myself. So, I agree 100% with you on the smoking issue!!!! I would "politely" ask for them not to smoke with your kids in the vehicle.

The swearing is a bad flaw of mine. I have improved so much over the years, but I still do. Now with the girls around, I might let "sh*t" slip out or d*mn *t. I wont say the F-word if my girls are around. I dont want them running around saying that. I wait to listen to the songs that do have those words for when they are not around. I do feel bad that other people dont think of it as such a bad thing! I was shopping a few days ago, seen a kid who had to be around chloes age, went right up to her mom and said "buy me these F*c*i*n* jeans!!!" I wanted to slap that kid! The mom just said, well, only if you say your sorry!! hahahaha! talk about misguiding your kids!

I wish you the best of luck!!!!! =] Thats why I like them young, you can control EVERYTHING!!!! lol

sweetmemorymakingmom said...

Sherry, You are definately not wrong in your thinking. My two girls are very young but I know that I will be faced with many of the same scinerios. Sounds like you are doing a great job instilling your values in your kids. THe state of today is just sad. Parents really have to pay even more attention to what the heck is going on. I am just discussed with the way morals have gone out the window!

Home schooling would scare me too. But I know, from having many friens who homeschool their children, that it is so rewarding for the parent but even more so the child. Hugs to you, Ellen

sweetmemorymakingmom said...

It is funny how the girls only rule goes right out the window. Nice to hear your family has tea parties too! hugs, Ellen

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