Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Kids Reaction to A Death

Last Saturday our neighbor, "Grandma", passed away and today is her funeral. Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Holly are raising their great grandaughter who is one of Mallory's best friends. I just wanted to share the 3 kids different reactions to Grandma's death.




  1. Ezie was quite, but later wanted to call and check on Earl's mom.

  2. Mallory has been very distant with her friend since Grandma was diagnosed with cancer last July. The sicker Grandma got the more Mallory has stayed away. When she heard Grandma was not going to make it she felt very guilty. Since Grandma died I haven't been able to keep Mallory home. She is back to basically living next door just like before Grandma got sick. Mallory has been supportive and a good friend.

  3. Jace's reaction is the one that I will remember forever though. Little children have a way of coping and reacting that always amaze me. I told him that Grandma had died and that she wouldn't be over at her house anymore. I explained that Grandma had gotten sick and couldn't wake up. He looked at me and said, "So Grandma melted, she melted and won't come back anymore." I was shocked and amazed at his analogy. He had watched his snowman melt a few days before Grandma's death and new that it wouldn't be back so I guess that must have been what he was thinking of. He told me he didn't like that Grandma had melted and that it made him sad. The next day Jace asked me if we could "talk" about Grandma. Jace had an idea, he wanted to know if a Super Strong Doctor could please give Grandma some medicine and fix her. He wanted to know if those talking germs that he saw on tv killed Grandma and if he should wash his hands more. I told him that the Doctor's did try to fix Grandma, but yes those germs were just to strong and that it's always good to wash our hands, but those aren't the same kind of germs that Grandma had. Jace told me again that he didn't like it and that it made him sad that Grandma melted and then he went off to play.

I'm sure after the funeral today the kids will have different feeling and questions. I am proud of them though in how they have been supportive and a good friend to our neighbor.

12 comments:

Valerie said...

That is so precious hearing how they all reacted. Anytime is a sad time to have a death but the holidays make it harder. I hope the funeral was a celebration of her life. She sounds like a good lady.

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Jenny said...

This was a sad but interesting post to me. My sister passed away almost two years ago but my middle-granddaughter (now 6) is still very obsessed with talking about her death. Your observations were really interesting. Enjoying your blog. I signed up to follow! Happy Holidays.

Dianne said...

I'm so sorry about your neighbor. Your kids are all different and unique. I was taught that you don't tell children that death is when you go to sleep and don't wake up as that is a scary thing since they still need to go to sleep at night. I would say she is an angel now and didn't need her body-like the snowman! : )
I hope you are having a nice trip!

Ele at abitofpinkheaven said...

The children are so sweet, and glad Mallory is a help to her friend. Have a nice New Years Eve with your family.

Kelly said...

what lovely Children you have!
You must be very proud of Mallory for being such a good friend and of Ezie for being so caring.
Jace is quite little but he will process in his own time and he knows he has a lovely family to ask questions to xxxx
Sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you xxxxx

Progress Lighting said...

Your blog is so cute!

Lisa West said...

I came over to see what you have been up to. Sorry for your loss. How wonderful to see the hearts of your children.
(Johnny Depp is cute no matter what he plays huh!!!) The pirate is still the best thought. hehehe
Happy New Year. Lisa

Yarni Gras! said...

how touching. Children can be so sweet in their observations...you did a great job letting them work through things.

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Valerie said...

I know you are gone on your trip but just wanted to tell you that I MISS YOU!

Melinda Cornish said...

kids see things in a different way dont they......I dealt with this with the kids when Ron died....It seems like the older they are , the longer it takes to hit.....jace is a little sweetie.....

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