If I CouLD Set MY SoUL FrEE: My Existence

Saturday, January 19, 2008

My Existence

It's 12:13 a.m. here in New York, no not NY City, a small town in upstate NY. Anyway, I was just wondering where the day went. It doesn't matter how early I get up or how late I stay up I never seem to get that much done. Why can't time just stop for a little while so I can catch up? Catch up on what? Good question! If I do my crafts the dishes. laundry, etc.... don't get done. If I do the housework nobody seems to notice anyway and I feel like I have no time for myself.

What is a girl to do? As you can see I have a lot of questions and usually end up trying to answer them myself. I'm a stay at home mom and crave adult interaction. My other half works a lot so I really don't see him to much and when he is home he's tired. I have pretty much become a hermit. I rarely leave my house. I shop on line, talk to my older kids on line, is there really a world outside of this house? The computer has become a pretty good friend. I can ask it anything and pretty much find an answer. That's sad, Huh? I THINK I NEED THERAPY. Don't you think so?

I always feel better after I've typed something to the computer, like it's my own little dairy. I figure nobody ever reads it anyway so what the heck. I feel like a rat in a box. I do the same things day after day after day and I never seem to get anywhere. Where am I going? Why am I trying to get there? Isn't there a better way to get there? I know, I know, the questions again. I am trying to find myself, I guess, Maybe it's just a mid-life crisis? I don't know, I just wish I could find myself so the journey could find the proper beginning and I could leave this confusing existence I've been in for the last couple of years.

Okay, if I've weirded you all out, sorry!! I'm really not weird. Oh yeah, the fairy pics are NOT because I am into any kind of fairy religion, I just think they're cute!

Thanks for listening!

Sherry

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